Well, it is my birthday once again, except for this time it is not just one of those ordinary birthdays! It’s supposed to be one of those turning leaf moments, 40, shall I say more? Reading that back a few times I couldn’t help but think I probably sounded as excited as Disney’s E’ore.
2021 and turning 40, the beginning of a new year, a new president, scandal everywhere, riots in our nation’s capital, and the still lingering virus, COVID-19.
In fact, here I sit with no sense of smell, no other symptoms except for a minor cough, and so, unfortunately, will be spending my 40th in quarantine. Yes, I probably have the VID and will be spending my time inside. Really, it’s okay, it gives me more time to write and ponder over these last 40 years.
Where does time really go? I used to hear all the older folks around me say that all the time. They knew just as I know now that time is a precious commodity that we don’t have a lot of. As a child, I remember things seemed to take forever to come to pass. Those long 25 days waiting in anticipation before Santa came down the…. well through the door, felt like centuries to me. I was also so anxious to grow up and leave my parents’ home so I could hurry up and…. what? I still can’t answer that question. Now strange enough, I can’t seem to grasp that the last 10 years have been swept from underneath me. Time really does go by in a jiffy.
Seems just like yesterday I was 29 turning 30, getting ready for the big dirty thirty party. I was so nervous about that transition. I really didn’t know how to feel. Not being able to say I was in my 20’s any longer made me feel older already. I felt the pressure to somehow transform into this responsible, career having woman who knew what she wanted in life. Even though I was learning more and more about myself, I definitely didn’t have it all together and shit, I didn’t even know who I was. But needless to say, 30 and all my 30’s were some pretty fantastic years. I can look back and solemnly say my 30’s were some of the best years of my life. I felt more like a woman, I learned to be more confident, I created boundaries, I learned how to say no to people that I loved, I explored a lot, traveled a lot, learned more about different cultures and food. I definitely learned more about me what I loved and what I disliked. But most importantly I learned how to fall in love with me!
Who is that woman
If only we could learn this lesson sooner in life. How to fall in love with ourselves in every step of our journey. How to learn not to judge ourselves and every bad decision we have made. To understand that our age doesn’t define us, that we are truly like fine wine. To have gratitude for what our body has given us at age 20 and as well what our body gives us now. This truly excites me about this next chapter in my life. The last 10 years had been an amazing ride and I look forward to what I can accomplish in the next 10 God willingly.
I know many people call 50 there second act, but I believe that 40 is the BEGINNING to my second act. The past is the past, and who really wants to go back to that except for the people that think that their life was somehow better back then. I’ve learned that if you stay stuck reminiscing about how great your life was, you can’t dream about what your life can be like. No, that part is over, and I’m okay with being older and wiser. I’m excited to begin to enjoy some of the fruits of the hustle. I’m excited to make time slow down a bit and not live such a faced paced life, to hurry up and what??? I’m excited to know that I have control of how busy I am or not. Over the hill they say, well I say I’m still climbing the MF’er! I declare that 40 will be amazing and even though the start is not the greatest as the wise Situation would say, the comeback is always stronger than the setback! Oh and kids, enjoy this life, it goes by in an instant!